Oct07 : Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge

 it took me 10yrs to start blogging again.. and 3 weeks of constant nudging from my spirit and procrastinating. Now that i'm facing this screen, i'm kinda wondering what am i supposeed to do.. 

Let's recap - 

July15 : I started on this job which i dreaded so much cos the corporate culture is so so so local, whereas I've always enjoyed working in US/European culture. To make things worse, my boss is so micro-managing despite exclaiming she's open and flexible (humans, we are really blind to ourselves, arent we?) I was just in my 2nd week that I could feel depression sneaking in.. the stress of different environment, the fear of depression.. what am i getting myself into.

I knew i need to open up, talk to someone or even pray.. God knows the nights I cried cause I felt so trapped. I trapped myself into this job. 

That's when Esther introduced Tiffany to me. I was hesitant approachng a 'career coach' as my previous experience was not very friendly. But I guess God has been watching and planning this through.. 

With just bare initial 10mins to prepare me, Tiffany turns out to be my 'life coach'. 

"What do you want to retire into?"

In all my life, I've been occupying my life with work. Even when I have Jere, I continue to give work a big part of my life. I have no hobby, no meetup with friends. I just enjoyed life being workaholic and hermit.

That question threw me back.. till this day, I am still unable to answer. 

Things get even more real on my 1st actual session with Tiffany. In that small phonebooth room, after knowing I'm also Christian, she prayed for me.. and boy, how strong was the Holy Spirit, how intense and tangible was His Presence in that small space. i weeped like mad, yet so refreshed. It's a healing session with God. Trust me, I could almost believed she is God-sent angel, having the faith to pull down Heaven just like that.

the rest.. oh well, i'm starting to learn to pray and hear from Him.. not just pray, hear. And I will never forget how I should close the gap between hearing and doing. Many a times, we pray we hear we rejoice .. yet we stop at doing, stop at believing that God will provide when we partner with Him in action. 

I decided to make this change. I pray I want to hear from Him, so now I need to learn to act with Him. In my darkest pit, Jesus has not let go of me yet I just continue to live within the 2nd and 3rd mansion of His Interior Castle (Teresa of Avila) for the past 10 yrs. 

It's time to get serious.. a real relationship with my Living God. Because He is Living, He loves to talk to me..only if I can stop to listen. After listening, my walk (action) with Him will begins.. Jesus holds my hands.

Prov 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge